Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2013 17:03:56 GMT -5
Sib: “Are ya goin’ ta turn tha’ thing off or wha’?”
Matt: “I will in a minute, I just want to finish this mission.”
We are greeted, once more, by the familiar sight of the apartment shared by one Siobhain MacKenna and the Prime Time Champion. You have Matt Stone, engrossed in the television, or, more accurately engrossed in his video game that was being shown on the screen. In conjunction with his speech last week leading into Mayhem, Matt has engrossed himself in Injustice, the latest fighting game from Netherrealm Studios. He is of course playing as Batman, the fictional hero he compared himself to and is in the process of teaching Superman how to take a punch like a boss. At this point, Stone had been on his X-Box for nearing five hours straight all the while Sib was doing productive things like training, cooking (pouring cereal) and eating. All of those activities were a smarter useage of time than what Stone was doing, but he didn’t really care. He hadn’t eaten anything all day, except defeat more times than he’d like to count from this game. Not this time he told himself as he mashed down on the x and a buttons. Not this time.
Sib: “Ya can play tha’ later Matt. Bu’ the clock’s tickin’ down an’ we’ve go’ work ta do. ‘ave ya even bothered ta pause tha’ damned thing long enough ta eat anythin’ today? Wha’ am Ah sayin’, o’ course no’. A’ least pause i’ then eh?”
Matt: “Yeah, in a second eh?”
Is it karma? Payback for her outright refusal to do this when he was ready to? That must be what’s going on here. That has to be the answer. He’s getting revenge for her not wanting to get in front of the camera. She sighs, heavily, raking a hand back through her hair.
Sib: “I’ takes ‘alf a second ta pause the damned thing. An’ Ahm only askin’ fer five minutes o’ yer time ‘ere Matt. Tha’s all.”
Matt: “This is starting to sound really familiar. I seem to recall only asking for five minutes of your time not so very long ago.”
Sib: “Ah knew i’! Ah knew ya were doin’ this ta ge’ back a’ me fer tha’. Ah knew i’. Fer the love o’ God Matt, are ya really goin’ ta tha’ childish?”
Matt: “You continue to underestimate me Sib. If you’re going to be fussy about when to record stuff, shouldn’t I be afforded the same pickiness?”
Oh, she stares at him. She stares at him long and hard before huffing and shaking her head.
Sib: “God damn i’ all Matt. Ah drug mah feet o’er somethin’ tha’ was mutually beneficial. Yer draggin’ yer feet jus’ ta be an arse. Tha’ is no’ the same thing.”
Matt: “I’m not dragging my feet, I’m kicking Superman’s ass! Completely different. If I wasn’t-fucking heat vision! Duck you dumb Bat, duck! Huzzah!”
The Kryptonian has fallen and it initiates a cutscene. Sib opens her mouth to say something, but Matt holds his hand up so he can watch the cut scene. Everyone knows the cut scenes are very important. At the conclusion of the scene, Matt presses the start button at the beginning of the next fight and looks over at Sib, as if he hadn’t just shushed her for a video game.
Matt: “What were you saying dear?”
Sib: “Tha’ Ah should kick yer sorry ass fer tha’. Bu’ since Ah love ya, Ahm no’ goin’ ta. ‘owever. Wha’ we should do tha’ whole promo thing agin. Jus’, ya know, ta make sure all the bases are covered.”
Since she was being especially distracting during the last one. Although someone should give Matt some props for doing as well as he did, considering that she was stripping literally in front of him.
Sib: “Tha’ Mosh lad’s already sent in a promo...if ya want ta call i’ tha’.”
Matt: “I’d rather not. I was looking for Robin Leach the whole time. Who shoots an interview from home? How lazy can you be?”
The ironic part, of course, was that they weren’t really doing anything different, except of course not having someone else come over to their house and lob softball questions at them. Sib takes a moment to loft a brow at him in question because...well, here they are at home...and they’re usually at home for that matter, but that’s not the point.
Sib: “Ah think ‘e was jus’ lookin’ fer an excuse ta ge’ Jas in ‘is ‘ouse ta be perfectly ‘onest. Tha’ wasn’ even much o’ an interview was i’? Pretty bland ‘onestly. Still nae a word a from the new guy either. Bu’ Ah don’ think we really need ta ‘ear from ‘im.”
Matt: “I doubt he will have anything interesting to say. As much as I love to hear my own voice, are you going to actually be a part of this or are you just going to sit there and look pretty?”
To her credit, she certainly did look pretty. What with the denim shorts that are just a shade too short to be truly appropriate, and, a Shut Me Up t-shirt with the sleeves torn off. For a long moment she only looks thoughtful before flashing a smile.
Sib: “Ah thought Ahd make mahself a wee bi’ more useful this time around. Ya want ta start, or shall Ah?”
Matt: “If you start, I can play more video games.”
He flashes a smirk, knowing there was no way in hell he could pick up the controller and unpause the game before her hand met his face.
Sib: “If ya e’en think aboot unpausin’ tha’ damned game, yer goin’ ta spend this video unconscious.”
Is she serious? Nah, she can’t be. But she might be. It’s hard telling with Sib. However, she’s more than happy to turn her attention on the camera. And just like that, the smiles are gone.
Sib: Ya know Mosh, Ah find mahself startin’ ta question why ya are e’en still ‘ere. In terms o’ talent, yer aboot as lackluster as the reception ta the Green Lantern movie. Ya’ve go’ no charisma, no talent, an’ absolutely no bloody ability wha’so ever. Ya wan’ ta act like yer jus’ some big victim when the fact o’ the matter is...about the only decent decision Jacob Wilson’s made in ‘is entire fookin’ career was the one ‘e made ta leave ya out ta dry. Yer useless. E’en yer own fookin’ sister walked away from ya Chrissy. Think aboot tha’ one. E’en yer own flesh an’ fookin’ blood doesn’ want ta ‘ave yer back on this one. An’ tha’ li’l video o’ yers...le’ me give ya a wee bi’ o’ advice. Don’ ever admit ta weakness. No matter ‘ow badly ya fookin’ ‘urt, don’ ever le’ on aboot i’. Especially no’ when yer dealin’ wi’ people like Matt an’ mahself. This company, t’is jus’ startin’ ta see the tip o’ the iceberg when i’ comes ta wha’ we’re capable o’. An’ Ahm no’ exactly ‘appy tha’ those Dark Horse jokers were slated for a title match when they obviously don’ take i’ seriously, especially when Matt an’ I ‘ad already proven tha’ we were more than jus’ a mere match fer the current champions. Wha’ tha’ means, is tha’ from this point on, every single person Ah step into the ring wi’ becomes an example. So ya cryin’ aboot bein’ ‘urt? Well Moshy lad, tha’s like swimmin’ wi’ sharks an’ dumpin’ a drum o’ blood inta the water.”
Matt: “For the record, she means no disrespect to the Joker when she talks about the Dark Horses, I assure you. They’re shit, and the Joker is awesome. Anyway, carry on, dear.”
Sib: “So tha’s wha’ yer dealin’ wi’ Chrissy lad. Yer dealin’ wi’ sharks. An’ ya’ve gone an’ painted yerself up like the wounded seal. Ya’ve painted the target on yer back in bright ass fookin’ pink. So, congratulations on tha’ one Ah guess. Second piece o’ advice? Don’ ever admit tha’ yer waitin’ fer yer partner ta save yer ass an’ carry yer dead weight ass ta victory. If ya cannae stand on ya own two fookin’ feet, then take yer ass ta the back an’ stay there. Because Ah don’ need some prissy ass li’l twatwaffle pissin’ an’ moanin’ aboot ‘ow the big bad “crazy bitch” ‘urt ‘im soooo bad because she preyed on ‘is weaknessnes.”
Matt: “It’s true, she’s gunna hurt you so bad, you’re gunna wish she didn’t hurt you so bad!”
Sib stares at him for a long moment, because, well, obviously he’s not going to offer a whole lot of input to this thing. But then again, really? Let’s face it, Stone said everything he probably needed to say to Chris Mosh the first time around. Because let’s face it...it’s Chris Mosh.
Sib: “Ya know, ya might jus’ be part o’ mah problem Moshy. Ya know why? Because ya don’ care. Ya don’ care aboot yaself an’ ‘ow ya represent the company, ya don’ care aboot pullin’ yer own weight...yer no’ much better than a bump on a log wha’ occasionally runs i’s mouth. Ya would think, after as long as Ah’ve been ‘ere tha’ ya’d ‘ave some idea aboot wha’ Ahm aboot, an’ who Ah am...bu’ ya don’. Out o’ everythin’ ya could ‘ave seized on, the only thing ya could grasp was tha’ Ahm crazy? Seriously? Ahm a lot o’ things Chrissy, bu’ crazy ain’t one o’ ‘em. Passionate, dedicated, loyal...aye, Ah s’pose Ahve go’ a wee bi’ o’ a temper...but who doesn’ really? Ah mean, who won’ stop a’ nothin’ ta prove a point when i’ needs ta be made? Wha’ ya dinnae touch on, the big facts tha’ ya seem ta overlook...which is nae tha’ surprisin’ considerin’ the source, is tha’ fer all mah ‘craziness’, Ahve still proven mahself a better competitor than you. While yer bankin’ on bein’ cute, an’ usin’ ridiculous li’l gimmicks...like...the “cougar slayer” really? Tha’s yer big sellin’ point? Tha’s wha’ ya wanna run wi’? Fookin’ idit. Bu’ while yer bankin’ on stupid shite like tha’...Ahve been bustin’ mah arse fer recognition. No gimmicks. No stupid names, no stupid tricks, jus’ grade A fookin’ talent an’ ‘ard work. Which, if ya put ‘alf as much time inta yer ring work, as ya spend tryin’ ta make yerself known as the “pretty boy”, ya might ‘ave a wee bi’ better luck. Bu’ Ah doubt it.”
In case no one’s paying attention, Sib’s become a little bit of a bitch. Whether that be because of Stone’s constant influence or because of her stint with sobriety could be up for debate...it’s probably a combination of both. Or, you know, maybe it’s the fact that she’s disgusted with her own current standing as far as a career goes, and fed up with constantly being made a mockery off by assholes who have nothing better to do with their time. Oh wait, that’s right, mocking people who have nothing to do with you in any way is totally the way to get over. For a moment Matt looks like he’s about to pipe in, like usual...only this time Sib doesn’t give him the chance. No, she charges on ahead, leaving Stone to stare at her...a fact which she continues to ignore.
Sib: “An’ tha’ brings me ta my second opponent in this match. Mistah fookin’ Barnaby. Ya know i’ never fails, ya fooking morons seem ta jus’ love overlookin’ me. So bravo. Ah mean really, first video in a new fed, wha’ a way ta make an impact...provin’ tha ya cannae do any homework o’ yer own, tha’ ya don’ know ‘ow ta go on the attack, bu’ rather, rely on yer opponent ta practically spoon feed ya. T’is like this luv. A’ yer age, yer right. Yer goin’ ta face ridicule. The same way a green behind the ears eighteen, nineteen year old faces ridicule. The same way tha’ anyone who steps inta this business faces ridicule. Christ, tha’s part o’ the fookin’ business, everyone faces i’, and fer ya ta rail on an’ on aboot i’...i’ sounds like yer already settin’ yerself up ta use i’ as an excuse when ya fail. So since ya practically ignored the fact tha’ Ahm in this match too, allow me ta introduce mahself properly. Mah name is Siobhain MacKenna. An’ aye, Ahm a woman, wha’s goin’ ta be kickin’ yer ass come Face Off. When Ah walked inta this company, Ah did i’ knowin’ wha’ Ah wanted. Mah first match was fer the Under Armour Championship. Ah want ya ta think aboot tha’. I walked in, practically off the street, jus’ go’ the okay from mah trainers ta compete professionally...an’ Ah walked out o’ mah first match a Champion. In doin’ tha’, Ah made ‘istory ‘ere in Code Red Wrestlin’. Tha’s somethin’ tha’ no one can take from me. ‘ave Ah stumbled? O’ course Ah ‘ave. Everyone does from time to time. Bu’ tha’ doesn’t change the fact tha’ no matter wha’ anyone does, or anyone says, Ah made ‘istory ‘ere. Ya bring up tha’ Matt’s first title reign came a’ mah expense...like wha’? Ya think tryin’ ta reopen tha’ wound will somehow pu’ a fissure in our relationship? Hate ta tell ya luv, bu’ yer dead wrong. Aye, Matt took mah title. Shame really. Ah lost ta someone wi’ more experience than Ah ‘ad. Oh ‘ow shameful. Wha’e’er shall Ah do? Wha’ ya seem ta ferget is tha’ aye, ‘e took i’ from me...an’ then Ah took i’ back. So we’re aboot e’en on tha’ regard. Advice ta ya? Ya tend yer partner, an’ ya le’ me tend ta mine. Wha’e’er differences Matt an’ Ah might o’ ‘ad...they’re in the past, an’ tha’s where they’ll stay. Matt’s been there fer me, when no one else was. ‘e’s probably the one person Ah know Ah can count on ta ‘ave mah back. T’is a shame ya cannae say the same aboot yer partner.
Yer determined, an’ Ah s’pose tha’s a good thing. Bu’ ya need ta understand tha’ tha’ determination is only goin’ ta ge’ ya so far. Ya’ve been given a test. Ya are no’ debutin’ against some nobodies. Ya are no’ facin’ a team o’ random strangers thrown tagether fer giggles. Matt an’ Ah, we’ve already proven our mettle. We’ve already proven ourselves as a team. Like any good team, we make up for our weaknesses, and play ta our strengths. So do me a favor Sean, shove i’. Because really, the cliche ‘can’ keep me down’ bullshit? T’is overdone. An’ i’ does nae mesh well with threatenin’ ta break spirits. Which, le’s face i’, ya dinnae ‘ave the ability. Reachin’ out ta live the dream, tha’s admirable. Bu’ ya need ta realize tha’ when ya step inta the ring wi’ us...we’re no’ jus’ “weekend warriors” luv. We eat, sleep, an’ breathe this business. An’ we’ve been competin’ on the professional level, fer quite some time now. We’ve stood in the ring wi’ people who would chew ya up an’ spit ya out, an’ we’ve gone toe ta toe wi’ ‘em withou’ battin’ an eye. Generally speakin’, Ah don’ go out o’ mah way ta ruin people. Tha’s no’ wha’ Ahm aboot. Bu’ fer ya...Ah might jus’ make an exception. Ya see, Ah don’ really respond well ta threats, ta mahself, or ta the people Ah care aboot. An’ tha’s wha’ ya’ve done innit? Ya are nae jus’ talkin’ aboot a victory ‘ere, ya are aimin’ ta bring ruination, ta break spirits. Don’ ya know, when the spirit breaks, hope is gone. Bu’...if we can endure wha’ we’ve endured thus far...ya’ve go’ nothin’. Bu’ then...we knew tha’ already. So le’ me make one thing perfectly clear ta ya Sean.
When Ah step inta the ring wi’ ya a’ Face Off, when Ahve finished stompin’ ya inta the canvas. T’is no because Ah think yer an old man...because again, if ya’d done yer ‘omework, ya’d know tha’ Ahve nothin’ bu’ the highest respect fer Buck. ‘e’s the closest thing Ah’ve go’ ta a Da, on this side o’ the pond. I’ won’ be because Ahm tryin’ ta crush yer dreams, or break yer spirit. T’will be simply because, tha’s wha’ Ah do. Win, or lose, there’s no’ a single person tha’s e’er stepped inta the ring wi’ me tha’ can say otherwise. An’ tha’s includin’ the love o’ mah life ‘ere. Bu’ tha’s no’ somethin’ Ah expect ya ta believe, until ya experience i’ first ‘and.”
Matt looks over at Sib, mouth slightly open. He waits for a few seconds to gauge if she was finished before speaking.
Matt: “Are ya done? Got everything out there now?”
Sib: “Oh aye. Ah think Ah said everythin’ tha’ needs ta be said. Ya go on ahead now luv.”
Alright, so maybe Sib looks a little smug, but surely not without reason. There’s just something satisfying about getting that slightly slack jawed, dumbfounded look from her boyfriend.
Matt: “Well that was, interesting, to say the least. So often the two of us are compared to Penn and Teller, the greatest act in vegas. While Penn does all the talking and misdirection, it’s Teller who really is the master of his craft and the comparison is there for us as well. I’m the loudmouth and she’s the real show, not Terry Marvin. But you see, what Sib just demonstrated is the same thing that I’ve been saying since day 1, there is no weak link here. She can trash talk with the best of them and you better believe that inside that ring I can take you apart just as well as she can. We really are a perfect match, and while we hide each other's weaknesses as she said, we also accentuate each other’s strengths to the max, and that will be no clearer than this Sunday when the two of us have our hands raised in victory. Couple things though that stood out to me that I feel should be addressed before Sunday. First of all, that whole bleeding heart story about how your childhood dream is being realized finally getting into the big leagues. Well that’s touching, but it’s also laughable. Everyone on this roster worth their weight in dumbells would be able to recite that same exact story. Growing up, we all wanted to do this. No one walks out of the gym one day and sees a billboard and decided ‘Hey, I’m going to try wrestling today’. I won’t even make the obvious joke that it looks like your partner did just that, because I know that to be a complete fabrication. We all have your childhood Sean, but the difference is it didn’t take us over thirty years to accomplish it. This means one of two things, as far as I’m concerned. Either you’re lying and you didn't always want to be wrestler, you just see this as an easy paycheck which allow me to disprove right now. This job, if you want to call it that, takes a lot out of you week in and week out and it takes dedication, heart and a little bit of pride to keep coming back asking for more. I won at Mayhem, yes, but I still took punishment, I’m still in pain and that pain may never fully go away. I know this, but still I push forward because I’m not satisfied until the whole world knows I’m the best. This week, I’m going to be the best tag team partner I can be, because that’s what I do.
The other option? You’re a quitter. Like us, who broke out in wrestling in our early twenties, you tried to get here, on this level, before and failed. Maybe you’re not as good as you say, perhaps with your and Mosh’s powers combined you could overstate your prowess to the extent that it can fill the Grand Canyon. That’d be neat. So is that it, Sean? Did you fail in your youth and just throw in the towel and now you’re having some sort of midlife crisis and you’ve decided that now you’re going to try again? You think getting here was easy for me? For her? No, it was fucking hard. But neither one of us gave up, we were and still are determined to make a living in this business and, more importantly, to do it at the expense of people like you who don’t have what it takes to make it. It has to be one of those Sean for your story to be accurate, so we’ve deduced you’re either a liar or a quitter, and the Straight Shooter doesn’t care, either way your plan is doomed if you think you’ll be walking out of Face-Off as a winner.
She talked about it, and I don’t need to repeat the story, but you’re facing two people in Sib and I that had very successful debuts. I’m two more wins away from this show being called Sunday Night Matt Stone. This is my show and you have the balls to ask me if I’ve ever been Prime Time? I’ve been in the opener, I've been in the Main Event and everywhere in between Sean and regardless of where I am on the card, I am the Main Event. You question if I’ve ever defended my title against someone who wanted to, how did you put it? Someone who wanted to take my title more than they wanted a paycheck? Have you met Leon Corbin? Of course you haven’t, you would have shot a video of it if you did, but trust me when I say he doesn’t give a shit about money, he wanted to hurt me, he wanted to hear me cry in pain and he wanted to break my arm. So yes, I have. In fact, whether I’m defending my title or not, each match I’m in someone wants to end me because they know they’ll have a story for life if they do. In fact, you made the same hollow threat not a minute later in your video, did you really think you were the first person to say that? The funny part? No one in this company, save the lovely lass to my left, has ever done it. You say I have a decent history in this company, I say I’ve got a longer streak going than Dick Clark at the New year’s party.
You want us to be ready for this match? We couldn’t be more ready. Whether we’re looking passed you or just setting reasonable goals for ourselves, the message is clear. We know we can't chase the tag titles if we lose Sunday. We know that regardless of your age or record you had to impresses some people to get to this level and we’re not going to be going in with our hands tied behind our back or anything. We expect a war regardless of who you are. Pretty Boy Mosh is luring attractive women into his home, but we know he’ll bring what he calls an A game to Sunday and if you can stop shaking hands and kissing babies long enough to indulge us in a wrestling match, we know you won’t be bringing anything less either. Though while you perceive us as looking passed you, I assure you you’re underestimating us if you think you can come in and put us through some sort of torture. Suffering will not be had on our end, I assure you of that. Unlike you, I’m going to dedicate this match so someone I have met, and someone I love very dearly. This match I’m dedicating to my actual father, who taught me if I want something, not to talk about it, but to take it. I’ll do just that Sunday, and neither of you have a hope in hell of shutting me up!”
Sib: Us up. Shuttin’ us up luv. There’s two o’ us...bu’ tha’ does nae change the facts. Ya boys are swimmin’ wi’ sharks now, an’ there’s blood in the fookin’ water. Ya’ve made a lot o’ assumptions, a lot o’ guesses. Bu’ Sunday night? The cold reality will come crashin’ down around ya ears. Ya see Sean. We’re no’ weekend warriors, we’re jus’ warriors. An’ Sunday ya step inta our arena.”
Matt: “I will in a minute, I just want to finish this mission.”
We are greeted, once more, by the familiar sight of the apartment shared by one Siobhain MacKenna and the Prime Time Champion. You have Matt Stone, engrossed in the television, or, more accurately engrossed in his video game that was being shown on the screen. In conjunction with his speech last week leading into Mayhem, Matt has engrossed himself in Injustice, the latest fighting game from Netherrealm Studios. He is of course playing as Batman, the fictional hero he compared himself to and is in the process of teaching Superman how to take a punch like a boss. At this point, Stone had been on his X-Box for nearing five hours straight all the while Sib was doing productive things like training, cooking (pouring cereal) and eating. All of those activities were a smarter useage of time than what Stone was doing, but he didn’t really care. He hadn’t eaten anything all day, except defeat more times than he’d like to count from this game. Not this time he told himself as he mashed down on the x and a buttons. Not this time.
Sib: “Ya can play tha’ later Matt. Bu’ the clock’s tickin’ down an’ we’ve go’ work ta do. ‘ave ya even bothered ta pause tha’ damned thing long enough ta eat anythin’ today? Wha’ am Ah sayin’, o’ course no’. A’ least pause i’ then eh?”
Matt: “Yeah, in a second eh?”
Is it karma? Payback for her outright refusal to do this when he was ready to? That must be what’s going on here. That has to be the answer. He’s getting revenge for her not wanting to get in front of the camera. She sighs, heavily, raking a hand back through her hair.
Sib: “I’ takes ‘alf a second ta pause the damned thing. An’ Ahm only askin’ fer five minutes o’ yer time ‘ere Matt. Tha’s all.”
Matt: “This is starting to sound really familiar. I seem to recall only asking for five minutes of your time not so very long ago.”
Sib: “Ah knew i’! Ah knew ya were doin’ this ta ge’ back a’ me fer tha’. Ah knew i’. Fer the love o’ God Matt, are ya really goin’ ta tha’ childish?”
Matt: “You continue to underestimate me Sib. If you’re going to be fussy about when to record stuff, shouldn’t I be afforded the same pickiness?”
Oh, she stares at him. She stares at him long and hard before huffing and shaking her head.
Sib: “God damn i’ all Matt. Ah drug mah feet o’er somethin’ tha’ was mutually beneficial. Yer draggin’ yer feet jus’ ta be an arse. Tha’ is no’ the same thing.”
Matt: “I’m not dragging my feet, I’m kicking Superman’s ass! Completely different. If I wasn’t-fucking heat vision! Duck you dumb Bat, duck! Huzzah!”
The Kryptonian has fallen and it initiates a cutscene. Sib opens her mouth to say something, but Matt holds his hand up so he can watch the cut scene. Everyone knows the cut scenes are very important. At the conclusion of the scene, Matt presses the start button at the beginning of the next fight and looks over at Sib, as if he hadn’t just shushed her for a video game.
Matt: “What were you saying dear?”
Sib: “Tha’ Ah should kick yer sorry ass fer tha’. Bu’ since Ah love ya, Ahm no’ goin’ ta. ‘owever. Wha’ we should do tha’ whole promo thing agin. Jus’, ya know, ta make sure all the bases are covered.”
Since she was being especially distracting during the last one. Although someone should give Matt some props for doing as well as he did, considering that she was stripping literally in front of him.
Sib: “Tha’ Mosh lad’s already sent in a promo...if ya want ta call i’ tha’.”
Matt: “I’d rather not. I was looking for Robin Leach the whole time. Who shoots an interview from home? How lazy can you be?”
The ironic part, of course, was that they weren’t really doing anything different, except of course not having someone else come over to their house and lob softball questions at them. Sib takes a moment to loft a brow at him in question because...well, here they are at home...and they’re usually at home for that matter, but that’s not the point.
Sib: “Ah think ‘e was jus’ lookin’ fer an excuse ta ge’ Jas in ‘is ‘ouse ta be perfectly ‘onest. Tha’ wasn’ even much o’ an interview was i’? Pretty bland ‘onestly. Still nae a word a from the new guy either. Bu’ Ah don’ think we really need ta ‘ear from ‘im.”
Matt: “I doubt he will have anything interesting to say. As much as I love to hear my own voice, are you going to actually be a part of this or are you just going to sit there and look pretty?”
To her credit, she certainly did look pretty. What with the denim shorts that are just a shade too short to be truly appropriate, and, a Shut Me Up t-shirt with the sleeves torn off. For a long moment she only looks thoughtful before flashing a smile.
Sib: “Ah thought Ahd make mahself a wee bi’ more useful this time around. Ya want ta start, or shall Ah?”
Matt: “If you start, I can play more video games.”
He flashes a smirk, knowing there was no way in hell he could pick up the controller and unpause the game before her hand met his face.
Sib: “If ya e’en think aboot unpausin’ tha’ damned game, yer goin’ ta spend this video unconscious.”
Is she serious? Nah, she can’t be. But she might be. It’s hard telling with Sib. However, she’s more than happy to turn her attention on the camera. And just like that, the smiles are gone.
Sib: Ya know Mosh, Ah find mahself startin’ ta question why ya are e’en still ‘ere. In terms o’ talent, yer aboot as lackluster as the reception ta the Green Lantern movie. Ya’ve go’ no charisma, no talent, an’ absolutely no bloody ability wha’so ever. Ya wan’ ta act like yer jus’ some big victim when the fact o’ the matter is...about the only decent decision Jacob Wilson’s made in ‘is entire fookin’ career was the one ‘e made ta leave ya out ta dry. Yer useless. E’en yer own fookin’ sister walked away from ya Chrissy. Think aboot tha’ one. E’en yer own flesh an’ fookin’ blood doesn’ want ta ‘ave yer back on this one. An’ tha’ li’l video o’ yers...le’ me give ya a wee bi’ o’ advice. Don’ ever admit ta weakness. No matter ‘ow badly ya fookin’ ‘urt, don’ ever le’ on aboot i’. Especially no’ when yer dealin’ wi’ people like Matt an’ mahself. This company, t’is jus’ startin’ ta see the tip o’ the iceberg when i’ comes ta wha’ we’re capable o’. An’ Ahm no’ exactly ‘appy tha’ those Dark Horse jokers were slated for a title match when they obviously don’ take i’ seriously, especially when Matt an’ I ‘ad already proven tha’ we were more than jus’ a mere match fer the current champions. Wha’ tha’ means, is tha’ from this point on, every single person Ah step into the ring wi’ becomes an example. So ya cryin’ aboot bein’ ‘urt? Well Moshy lad, tha’s like swimmin’ wi’ sharks an’ dumpin’ a drum o’ blood inta the water.”
Matt: “For the record, she means no disrespect to the Joker when she talks about the Dark Horses, I assure you. They’re shit, and the Joker is awesome. Anyway, carry on, dear.”
Sib: “So tha’s wha’ yer dealin’ wi’ Chrissy lad. Yer dealin’ wi’ sharks. An’ ya’ve gone an’ painted yerself up like the wounded seal. Ya’ve painted the target on yer back in bright ass fookin’ pink. So, congratulations on tha’ one Ah guess. Second piece o’ advice? Don’ ever admit tha’ yer waitin’ fer yer partner ta save yer ass an’ carry yer dead weight ass ta victory. If ya cannae stand on ya own two fookin’ feet, then take yer ass ta the back an’ stay there. Because Ah don’ need some prissy ass li’l twatwaffle pissin’ an’ moanin’ aboot ‘ow the big bad “crazy bitch” ‘urt ‘im soooo bad because she preyed on ‘is weaknessnes.”
Matt: “It’s true, she’s gunna hurt you so bad, you’re gunna wish she didn’t hurt you so bad!”
Sib stares at him for a long moment, because, well, obviously he’s not going to offer a whole lot of input to this thing. But then again, really? Let’s face it, Stone said everything he probably needed to say to Chris Mosh the first time around. Because let’s face it...it’s Chris Mosh.
Sib: “Ya know, ya might jus’ be part o’ mah problem Moshy. Ya know why? Because ya don’ care. Ya don’ care aboot yaself an’ ‘ow ya represent the company, ya don’ care aboot pullin’ yer own weight...yer no’ much better than a bump on a log wha’ occasionally runs i’s mouth. Ya would think, after as long as Ah’ve been ‘ere tha’ ya’d ‘ave some idea aboot wha’ Ahm aboot, an’ who Ah am...bu’ ya don’. Out o’ everythin’ ya could ‘ave seized on, the only thing ya could grasp was tha’ Ahm crazy? Seriously? Ahm a lot o’ things Chrissy, bu’ crazy ain’t one o’ ‘em. Passionate, dedicated, loyal...aye, Ah s’pose Ahve go’ a wee bi’ o’ a temper...but who doesn’ really? Ah mean, who won’ stop a’ nothin’ ta prove a point when i’ needs ta be made? Wha’ ya dinnae touch on, the big facts tha’ ya seem ta overlook...which is nae tha’ surprisin’ considerin’ the source, is tha’ fer all mah ‘craziness’, Ahve still proven mahself a better competitor than you. While yer bankin’ on bein’ cute, an’ usin’ ridiculous li’l gimmicks...like...the “cougar slayer” really? Tha’s yer big sellin’ point? Tha’s wha’ ya wanna run wi’? Fookin’ idit. Bu’ while yer bankin’ on stupid shite like tha’...Ahve been bustin’ mah arse fer recognition. No gimmicks. No stupid names, no stupid tricks, jus’ grade A fookin’ talent an’ ‘ard work. Which, if ya put ‘alf as much time inta yer ring work, as ya spend tryin’ ta make yerself known as the “pretty boy”, ya might ‘ave a wee bi’ better luck. Bu’ Ah doubt it.”
In case no one’s paying attention, Sib’s become a little bit of a bitch. Whether that be because of Stone’s constant influence or because of her stint with sobriety could be up for debate...it’s probably a combination of both. Or, you know, maybe it’s the fact that she’s disgusted with her own current standing as far as a career goes, and fed up with constantly being made a mockery off by assholes who have nothing better to do with their time. Oh wait, that’s right, mocking people who have nothing to do with you in any way is totally the way to get over. For a moment Matt looks like he’s about to pipe in, like usual...only this time Sib doesn’t give him the chance. No, she charges on ahead, leaving Stone to stare at her...a fact which she continues to ignore.
Sib: “An’ tha’ brings me ta my second opponent in this match. Mistah fookin’ Barnaby. Ya know i’ never fails, ya fooking morons seem ta jus’ love overlookin’ me. So bravo. Ah mean really, first video in a new fed, wha’ a way ta make an impact...provin’ tha ya cannae do any homework o’ yer own, tha’ ya don’ know ‘ow ta go on the attack, bu’ rather, rely on yer opponent ta practically spoon feed ya. T’is like this luv. A’ yer age, yer right. Yer goin’ ta face ridicule. The same way a green behind the ears eighteen, nineteen year old faces ridicule. The same way tha’ anyone who steps inta this business faces ridicule. Christ, tha’s part o’ the fookin’ business, everyone faces i’, and fer ya ta rail on an’ on aboot i’...i’ sounds like yer already settin’ yerself up ta use i’ as an excuse when ya fail. So since ya practically ignored the fact tha’ Ahm in this match too, allow me ta introduce mahself properly. Mah name is Siobhain MacKenna. An’ aye, Ahm a woman, wha’s goin’ ta be kickin’ yer ass come Face Off. When Ah walked inta this company, Ah did i’ knowin’ wha’ Ah wanted. Mah first match was fer the Under Armour Championship. Ah want ya ta think aboot tha’. I walked in, practically off the street, jus’ go’ the okay from mah trainers ta compete professionally...an’ Ah walked out o’ mah first match a Champion. In doin’ tha’, Ah made ‘istory ‘ere in Code Red Wrestlin’. Tha’s somethin’ tha’ no one can take from me. ‘ave Ah stumbled? O’ course Ah ‘ave. Everyone does from time to time. Bu’ tha’ doesn’t change the fact tha’ no matter wha’ anyone does, or anyone says, Ah made ‘istory ‘ere. Ya bring up tha’ Matt’s first title reign came a’ mah expense...like wha’? Ya think tryin’ ta reopen tha’ wound will somehow pu’ a fissure in our relationship? Hate ta tell ya luv, bu’ yer dead wrong. Aye, Matt took mah title. Shame really. Ah lost ta someone wi’ more experience than Ah ‘ad. Oh ‘ow shameful. Wha’e’er shall Ah do? Wha’ ya seem ta ferget is tha’ aye, ‘e took i’ from me...an’ then Ah took i’ back. So we’re aboot e’en on tha’ regard. Advice ta ya? Ya tend yer partner, an’ ya le’ me tend ta mine. Wha’e’er differences Matt an’ Ah might o’ ‘ad...they’re in the past, an’ tha’s where they’ll stay. Matt’s been there fer me, when no one else was. ‘e’s probably the one person Ah know Ah can count on ta ‘ave mah back. T’is a shame ya cannae say the same aboot yer partner.
Yer determined, an’ Ah s’pose tha’s a good thing. Bu’ ya need ta understand tha’ tha’ determination is only goin’ ta ge’ ya so far. Ya’ve been given a test. Ya are no’ debutin’ against some nobodies. Ya are no’ facin’ a team o’ random strangers thrown tagether fer giggles. Matt an’ Ah, we’ve already proven our mettle. We’ve already proven ourselves as a team. Like any good team, we make up for our weaknesses, and play ta our strengths. So do me a favor Sean, shove i’. Because really, the cliche ‘can’ keep me down’ bullshit? T’is overdone. An’ i’ does nae mesh well with threatenin’ ta break spirits. Which, le’s face i’, ya dinnae ‘ave the ability. Reachin’ out ta live the dream, tha’s admirable. Bu’ ya need ta realize tha’ when ya step inta the ring wi’ us...we’re no’ jus’ “weekend warriors” luv. We eat, sleep, an’ breathe this business. An’ we’ve been competin’ on the professional level, fer quite some time now. We’ve stood in the ring wi’ people who would chew ya up an’ spit ya out, an’ we’ve gone toe ta toe wi’ ‘em withou’ battin’ an eye. Generally speakin’, Ah don’ go out o’ mah way ta ruin people. Tha’s no’ wha’ Ahm aboot. Bu’ fer ya...Ah might jus’ make an exception. Ya see, Ah don’ really respond well ta threats, ta mahself, or ta the people Ah care aboot. An’ tha’s wha’ ya’ve done innit? Ya are nae jus’ talkin’ aboot a victory ‘ere, ya are aimin’ ta bring ruination, ta break spirits. Don’ ya know, when the spirit breaks, hope is gone. Bu’...if we can endure wha’ we’ve endured thus far...ya’ve go’ nothin’. Bu’ then...we knew tha’ already. So le’ me make one thing perfectly clear ta ya Sean.
When Ah step inta the ring wi’ ya a’ Face Off, when Ahve finished stompin’ ya inta the canvas. T’is no because Ah think yer an old man...because again, if ya’d done yer ‘omework, ya’d know tha’ Ahve nothin’ bu’ the highest respect fer Buck. ‘e’s the closest thing Ah’ve go’ ta a Da, on this side o’ the pond. I’ won’ be because Ahm tryin’ ta crush yer dreams, or break yer spirit. T’will be simply because, tha’s wha’ Ah do. Win, or lose, there’s no’ a single person tha’s e’er stepped inta the ring wi’ me tha’ can say otherwise. An’ tha’s includin’ the love o’ mah life ‘ere. Bu’ tha’s no’ somethin’ Ah expect ya ta believe, until ya experience i’ first ‘and.”
Matt looks over at Sib, mouth slightly open. He waits for a few seconds to gauge if she was finished before speaking.
Matt: “Are ya done? Got everything out there now?”
Sib: “Oh aye. Ah think Ah said everythin’ tha’ needs ta be said. Ya go on ahead now luv.”
Alright, so maybe Sib looks a little smug, but surely not without reason. There’s just something satisfying about getting that slightly slack jawed, dumbfounded look from her boyfriend.
Matt: “Well that was, interesting, to say the least. So often the two of us are compared to Penn and Teller, the greatest act in vegas. While Penn does all the talking and misdirection, it’s Teller who really is the master of his craft and the comparison is there for us as well. I’m the loudmouth and she’s the real show, not Terry Marvin. But you see, what Sib just demonstrated is the same thing that I’ve been saying since day 1, there is no weak link here. She can trash talk with the best of them and you better believe that inside that ring I can take you apart just as well as she can. We really are a perfect match, and while we hide each other's weaknesses as she said, we also accentuate each other’s strengths to the max, and that will be no clearer than this Sunday when the two of us have our hands raised in victory. Couple things though that stood out to me that I feel should be addressed before Sunday. First of all, that whole bleeding heart story about how your childhood dream is being realized finally getting into the big leagues. Well that’s touching, but it’s also laughable. Everyone on this roster worth their weight in dumbells would be able to recite that same exact story. Growing up, we all wanted to do this. No one walks out of the gym one day and sees a billboard and decided ‘Hey, I’m going to try wrestling today’. I won’t even make the obvious joke that it looks like your partner did just that, because I know that to be a complete fabrication. We all have your childhood Sean, but the difference is it didn’t take us over thirty years to accomplish it. This means one of two things, as far as I’m concerned. Either you’re lying and you didn't always want to be wrestler, you just see this as an easy paycheck which allow me to disprove right now. This job, if you want to call it that, takes a lot out of you week in and week out and it takes dedication, heart and a little bit of pride to keep coming back asking for more. I won at Mayhem, yes, but I still took punishment, I’m still in pain and that pain may never fully go away. I know this, but still I push forward because I’m not satisfied until the whole world knows I’m the best. This week, I’m going to be the best tag team partner I can be, because that’s what I do.
The other option? You’re a quitter. Like us, who broke out in wrestling in our early twenties, you tried to get here, on this level, before and failed. Maybe you’re not as good as you say, perhaps with your and Mosh’s powers combined you could overstate your prowess to the extent that it can fill the Grand Canyon. That’d be neat. So is that it, Sean? Did you fail in your youth and just throw in the towel and now you’re having some sort of midlife crisis and you’ve decided that now you’re going to try again? You think getting here was easy for me? For her? No, it was fucking hard. But neither one of us gave up, we were and still are determined to make a living in this business and, more importantly, to do it at the expense of people like you who don’t have what it takes to make it. It has to be one of those Sean for your story to be accurate, so we’ve deduced you’re either a liar or a quitter, and the Straight Shooter doesn’t care, either way your plan is doomed if you think you’ll be walking out of Face-Off as a winner.
She talked about it, and I don’t need to repeat the story, but you’re facing two people in Sib and I that had very successful debuts. I’m two more wins away from this show being called Sunday Night Matt Stone. This is my show and you have the balls to ask me if I’ve ever been Prime Time? I’ve been in the opener, I've been in the Main Event and everywhere in between Sean and regardless of where I am on the card, I am the Main Event. You question if I’ve ever defended my title against someone who wanted to, how did you put it? Someone who wanted to take my title more than they wanted a paycheck? Have you met Leon Corbin? Of course you haven’t, you would have shot a video of it if you did, but trust me when I say he doesn’t give a shit about money, he wanted to hurt me, he wanted to hear me cry in pain and he wanted to break my arm. So yes, I have. In fact, whether I’m defending my title or not, each match I’m in someone wants to end me because they know they’ll have a story for life if they do. In fact, you made the same hollow threat not a minute later in your video, did you really think you were the first person to say that? The funny part? No one in this company, save the lovely lass to my left, has ever done it. You say I have a decent history in this company, I say I’ve got a longer streak going than Dick Clark at the New year’s party.
You want us to be ready for this match? We couldn’t be more ready. Whether we’re looking passed you or just setting reasonable goals for ourselves, the message is clear. We know we can't chase the tag titles if we lose Sunday. We know that regardless of your age or record you had to impresses some people to get to this level and we’re not going to be going in with our hands tied behind our back or anything. We expect a war regardless of who you are. Pretty Boy Mosh is luring attractive women into his home, but we know he’ll bring what he calls an A game to Sunday and if you can stop shaking hands and kissing babies long enough to indulge us in a wrestling match, we know you won’t be bringing anything less either. Though while you perceive us as looking passed you, I assure you you’re underestimating us if you think you can come in and put us through some sort of torture. Suffering will not be had on our end, I assure you of that. Unlike you, I’m going to dedicate this match so someone I have met, and someone I love very dearly. This match I’m dedicating to my actual father, who taught me if I want something, not to talk about it, but to take it. I’ll do just that Sunday, and neither of you have a hope in hell of shutting me up!”
Sib: Us up. Shuttin’ us up luv. There’s two o’ us...bu’ tha’ does nae change the facts. Ya boys are swimmin’ wi’ sharks now, an’ there’s blood in the fookin’ water. Ya’ve made a lot o’ assumptions, a lot o’ guesses. Bu’ Sunday night? The cold reality will come crashin’ down around ya ears. Ya see Sean. We’re no’ weekend warriors, we’re jus’ warriors. An’ Sunday ya step inta our arena.”